Benjamin Zander and Roz gave me an A. The single condition was that I project myself in to a better future and understand my contribution to that future. Who am I not to be worthy of that A. Dare I aspire to be graced with the responsibility to lead, to declare an A for others. I project myself to be more than an obstacle, not the stick nor the carrot. The greatest difficulty is that I can only be I while owning that it's not about me. I can only be I and so much more than me is what is needed.
Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, believes in a world of possibility, possibility as opposed to scarcity, scarcity being the world of winners and losers, a world where judgment oppresses. In order to understand a world of possibility, to live in the abundance of potential, Benjamin Zander assigns his students to project themselves in to the future, a future where they have earned the praise that he gave to them the moment they met. They do this with a letter, a letter from themselves as they stand in the future. Roz, Benjamin's partner, help him craft this scheme.
So, Benjamin and Roz, here is the future in which I stand....
I have not sacrificed rigor. I have not sacrificed rigor as evidenced by the reality of a better world. I have engaged deeply with love and wonder (Marian Bantjes) and I have not sacrificed rigor. I got the answers right to questions that I didn't know we had to problems that I knew we could not solve.
I found a way to value love. Not with a cash equivalent but with Love. As art is distinguishable from skill or artifice, as love is distinguishable from affinity or choice, I found a way to understand Love and its expression, as valuable. Actually, exchangeably, cognitively valuable.
I had the courage to accept the grace of responsibility. A responsibility to not claim my space, to not declare a truth, to not decide. It was not me but I played a role. I can only be I and I was not the answer. That was difficult to own. I did not know what the answer was. I only knew that the answer was not found, which is not to say that it was not known, or was not emergent.
Hearing signal from noise, seeing patterns in chaos, happened at the edges, where the network is new, where connections are being formed. I only knew that there is great value in solving real problems and worked, with love and wonder, to magnify possibility. I believed that we had not accounted for the value of lives at the edges. I believed that increasing the capitalization of human potential (Malcolm Gladwell) would not occur with winners picking winners. I understood that the unknown was fertile. I worked in the unknown. I said out loud what I did not know, what I was trying to understand, what I thought might be.
Something about the Chekovian (heart) string that finds resonance in each of us, regardless of our callouses, is what defined meaning and sourced the future. And I did not sacrifice rigor. I played a role. I am content with my participation, with my contribution.

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